There is no power right now, due to a huge thunderstorm. I realize in times like this how much I LOVE thunderstorms. I love watching the lightning and trying to see if you can spot the bolt instead of just the flash. Growing up in California lightning storms are rare, so whenever they happen you will find me glued to the window watching it.

A few years ago, at my cousin’s wedding in Denver, there were huge storms almost every night. I absolutely loved watching them. I tried to drag each of my family members to come watch with me. They came and for the most part they enjoyed it. However, after a while they grew bored and left to do something else. I, however, stayed and watched. I was mesmerized by the great forces of nature I saw taking place all around me.

Isn’t our God so powerful. I mean think about it, one of the reasons I love thunderstorms is because they are so beyond me. Thunder and lightning are powerful forces. The Bible says in the first part of Revelation 4:5 when talking about Jesus on the throne, “Out from the throne came flashes of lightning and rumblings and peals of thunder...” It is amazing for me to think about that. How great is the power of God that lightning and thunder are coming from His throne.

As I sit here and think about the power of God, the immense, huge, indescribable power of God I am in awe. Our God is so powerful. He is more powerful than anything we see. Yet so often I find myself worrying about the future. What in the world do I need to worry about? Almighty powerful God will guide, direct, and care for every area of my life.

I am realizing more and more that the reason I worry so much is because I do not recognize the great and powerful God that I serve. My prayer for you and I is that everyday we would choose to focus on the great and powerful Jesus Christ. That we would take our eyes off of our own circumstances and see that He is greater. In light of who God is our circumstances and problems are small. May we see our problems through His eyes and TRUST in Him to care for us.

I am reminded of a song, “Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.” Such a simple song yet I find in my own life it is a daunting task to achieve.

There are so many things in this life vying for our attention. However, I would encourage you, as I sit in the candlelight watching a grand display of lightning, that God is greater than whatever you are going through. Trust in Him and you will never be disappointed.

One of my FAVORITE new job responsibilites at ZOE is special activities. When the ZOE children have a day off from school I am in charge of facilitating a fun activity for them to do for two hours. This is a great time to hang out with them, get to know them, play games, make crafts, whatever. The possibilities are endless. If you know anything about me you know that I LOVE hanging with kids. I also love games and things that inspire creativity. Recently, they had a day off from school and I was able to facilitate a fun but messy project.

An article about what I did was featured on the ZOE blog! Please check it out!! http://zoechildren.org/blog/go-fly-a-kite-happiness-on-a-string

So this past weekend I went on my first village trip as a long term missionary. It was quite the adventure. Having only been on one village trip in my life I didn’t really know what to expect. When we were preparing to leave I noticed that we were taking four-wheelers. Last time I went we took vans. I thought to myself, this is going to be quite the adventure, where are we going that we need four-wheel drive?

As we started on our journey, I enjoyed seeing the beautiful countryside God has called me to. Thailand is truly beautiful! I am so blessed to live here. Parts of the beautiful drive reminded me of the drive to my grandma’s house. It was gorgeous! God’s creation is stunning! It was definitely a bumpy ride though and I am glad we took those four-wheelers. The mountain roads in Thailand are no joke!

Once we arrived we unloaded our stuff and saw where we were going to be staying that night. Then we set off on our adventure to go and talk with the villagers. We went house to house passing out goodie bags, sharing the gospel with people and inviting them to an outreach we were having that night. It was a different experience for me. Through this I saw stark differences between Thai and American cultures. As we went door to door people opened their homes and invited us in. We sat and talked for a while. The pace of life in a village is so different. We just sat and talked about planting rice, and other village topics. Unfortunately, I didn’t understand much. Although I am learning Thai the village that we were in was a Karin village and they all spoke Karin. However, some of our sweet Bible school students interpreted some of it for me. One of the girls that we met and talked with accepted Jesus. It was so exciting to be there as our staff shared the gospel with her. I can’t even describe to you the joy I felt in that moment.

After we went door to door we started to set up for our event that night. As soon as the sun went down it got RIDICULOUSLY cold. This made the event very interesting. We had an outdoor venue so that people who were walking by would stop and listen to what we were saying. It was fun there and a lot of people showed up and heard the gospel.

When the event was over we went to bed. I cannot even tell you how cold it was. Nobody really slept that night. I didn’t think Thailand could get as cold as it was. The next morning we set up for another event. This event was in honor of National Children’s Day. We partnered with another organization and had a great event. We had enough goodie bags for 300 children. We ended up having about 800 people there. It was a great event where men, women, and children heard the good news of Jesus Christ! Whenever we go into a village we partner with a local church. The pastor that we partnered with said that 90% of the people that attended had never been to the church before and had most likely never heard the gospel. He was ecstatic to have so many people there. It was a great outreach and about 124 people made commitments to the Lord! PRAISE GOD!

Although the trip to the village had its challenges it was a wonderful trip. It is so great to be a part of an organization that equips the church, helps spread the gospel and helps hurting children. Thank you for your investment in what I am doing! Without you I wouldn’t be able to do what I am doing! May God richly bless you!

Lately the Lord has been challenging me on what I value. Am I willing to be obedient to His leading even if I think I am being ineffective.

Effectiveness is something that I place great value on. Why would I do something if it does not produce anything. My time here on this earth is short and I want to make sure that I do all I can to extend the Kingdom of God. This is a good thing. However, not at the cost of obedience to the voice of the Lord.

Honestly, right now I feel ineffective. There were so many people back home that I was loving, reaching out to. So many people that NEEDED me. No one needs me here in Thailand. In America I have friendships that are well established. People know me. This takes time. This has happened in Thailand to some degree but not nearly as much as back home. I have a tendency to think and question what I am doing here? I am not being effective. I’m not changing anyones life. I’m not preaching the gospel to anyone because I can’t even speak the same language.

It is funny how we can be so focused on one thing not realizing the big picture. I am so comforted by the fact that I don’t see all that God sees. In times past I have thought the same thing that I find myself thinking now, I am not being effective. Now, looking back on those times I was being effective. But it all started with obedience to the voice of the Lord!

I just heard today an analogy that I found helpful. When a tree first starts growing it does not produce fruit right from the start. It is a process. When a new branch comes forth from an existing tree, the branch must grow strong enough to hold the fruit. That growing takes time. Although I may feel ineffective in regards to fruit right now, I KNOW that God is making me stronger in Him through this all. As I am obedient to His voice He is shaping my character like never before.

I would encourage you to ask yourself what area of life are you in right now? Are you producing fruit or is God making you stronger to hold fruit for the future? Are you being obedient to the voice of the Lord or are you caring and relying more on effectiveness than on Jesus!

Wow! I can’t believe it has been over a month since I have written. I have been super busy with all the added activities that this season brings. I want to wish you all a very late Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Thank you so much for all the support you continue to give.

The past month has been filled with many different emotions. I am excited to get to know new friends and start new traditions. However, I miss my family and friends back home tremendously.

My hearts cry for this year that I am in Thailand is that God would be enough. Although, this past month has brought about many tears and much sadness I can see that God was there with me through it all.

I was once again reminded what this season is all about. Although, this season is a time to hang out with family, catch up with friends, and give gifts. This season is truly about the wonderful gift of Jesus Christ. This truth has become more apparent to me as most other things that I would participate in at Christmas have been stripped from me. Jesus Christ is the thing that we ultimately long for. He is the ONLY ONE that can satisfy our hearts longing. I would encourage you to cry out to Him during this time. Be reminded once again of the great sacrifice He made because of His great unfailing love for you!

Thank you all so much for the prayers that you have said for me! I really appreciate all of the support. Please feel free to email me at anytime. I would LOVE to hear from all of you! My email is kaylee@gozoe.org

Here are some pictures of the fun events that I have been involved in.

This is the hotel where we had our Missionary Christmas Dinner

This is a fellow missionary and friend of mine Susan Ahn!

This is all of the lovely missionaries that I have the pleasure of working with.

Family Christmas Picture

My new friend, Jip!

Here is a video of the Loi Krathong festival. It is one of the most beautiful festivals! At the end you will see me set off a lantern!! :) Enjoy!

The slums. This is somewhere I never thought I would be. But then again who ever thought I would be in Thailand? This past week my friend Andie and I went to Bangkok. She needed to get some paperwork signed and I am always down for an adventure, especially with her! She has a friend that lives in Bangkok so we arranged to meet up with her after getting the papers signed. She told me a little about this friend before we got there. Her friend’s name is Jodie and she is from Australia. She and her family have lived in the slums of Bangkok for the past five years. I knew once I heard this how amazing it would be to talk with someone who has devoted so much of her life to a place so few ever desire to go to much less live in.

Meeting her and seeing the work this woman and her family are doing was indescribable. We talked for a few hours about the work that this family is doing in Bangkok. We asked her questions about things she has seen over the years, struggles she’s had, and heard stories about the people that she lives amongst. I was in awe that this woman would come with her family to a place that is so desperate, dangerous and dirty. Yet I found myself convicted. Isn’t this the very people that Jesus Himself reached out to?

We were about to head out on our way and leave Jodie to get back to the work she had to get done when suddenly she asked us if we would like to see her house. What unfolded was a sight that I will never forget and something that no one could’ve prepared me for. I struggle to even find the words to describe to you what I saw, what I heard and what I smelled. Pictures cannot do it justice. I had never visited a slum before. I could not have imagined the horrific conditions that I’ve read about and seen pictures of. When you experience such poverty and desperation there are no words, there is nothing that can be done to portray to others what you saw, unless they themselves have witnessed it before.

Needless to say, the situation that I was confronted with caused me to question. What do I value? How highly do I value my own comfort and security? Do I value it more than someone’s salvation? What truly matters? In light of eternity, what matters? If God called me to go serve the people in the slums would I go? Would I leave everything to help these lost, unloved people?

I regret to tell you at this moment I’m not ready. I couldn’t do what this woman does. I couldn’t raise my children in this environment. I could not live in the slum and be effective. I would be too worried about myself, my needs and my comfort. Thank God that He knows this and works with me where I’m at. However, I can tell you that I desire to get to the place where I could live like this. I long to have the perspective that this woman has. To know greater still the deep love that Jesus Christ has for these precious people who are destitute and dying and to be willing to give myself up for this cause.

Coincidentally, (or maybe not so coincidentally) I have been reading a book called No Longer a Slumdog: Bringing Hope to Children in Crisis by K.P. Yohannan. It is a free book and I would highly recommend it. You can get it at http://www.gfa.org/book/ It is a book about the children who live in the slums of India. Here is a quote, to ponder, as I have. “Are we willing to have our hearts break with His at such sights, knowing these are children who suffer so much in this life and have no hope of heaven in the next, simply because they know nothing of the hope that is in Christ? I believe, as followers of Christ, we are commanded to reach out to the least of these in the name of Jesus and show them that they matter a great deal to God, who sacrificed His only Son to reach them with His love. We must learn to look away from our own worlds to care for what God cares about.” (pg. 72)

Please do not misunderstand me, I do feel as though I am actively participating in this and if you have supported me in any way you are a part of this as well. I just feel overwhelmed that there is still a part of me that would not go. Jesus Christ’s great unfailing love should motivate us all to go anywhere. No matter the cost!

I feel so blessed to have met this woman and to be challenged even more to fall in love with Jesus. Friends, falling in love with Jesus takes active participation and active surrender of everything we have and everything we are. Let’s do this together. What do we have to lose? Nothing.....Jesus Christ is WORTH giving up absolutely EVERYTHING! I pray that the Lord would continue to reveal Himself to me and that I would continue to offer Him everything, including my own comfort.

This woman displayed Jesus’ heart to me more than any other person I have met. I felt as though I met Mother Teresa. Jodie cares more about showing Jesus’ love to these unloved, untouched people than she does about her own comfort and security. May I someday be able to say that I know God that intimately.

I am so glad that God doesn’t always give me what I want. Can I be honest and vulnerable for a minute? I always thought that I would get married young. It was something I always wanted. My mom got married at 21 and I don’t know if any other girls think like I do but I always thought that I would get married around the same age as my mom. I struggled as I got to be that age and there were no perspective guys in my life. It was very difficult for me to realize that maybe God’s plan was different then mine.

The past few years my question to the Lord has been why?

Why Lord? Why am I still single? You know that this is such a strong desire in my heart. You know that it is a good desire. Why? I don’t understand. Have you ever found yourself asking that question? Maybe you are struggling with the same thing right now. In some ways I feel as though so many of my friends have passed me by in life. A few of them are already on their second child. I find it difficult at times not to compare my circumstances with theirs. It is a constant battle. Then there are moments, like today, when I realize the goodness and grace of Jesus Christ in not giving me what I want.

I could list to you so many opportunities and things that I have been able to do for the kingdom of God BECAUSE of my singleness. Many of you know that I was a nanny for my cousins after their mother passed away from cancer. I NEVER would have been able to have the privilege of watching them and caring for them the way I did if I was married. I thank God that I was not married so that I COULD be with them. What a unique time that I was able to build relationship with them and love them.

I cannot describe fully the gratitude I feel towards God for not giving me what I want.

Many of you may also know that I am a very social person. I do not like being alone. I NEVER have. Yet....I find myself on the OTHER side of the world........by myself. Only God could do such a thing. I am realizing more and more that it is due to His great, unfailing jealous love for me. You see it is so much easier for me to go to other people for advice. It is so easy for me to pick up the phone and call a friend or family member to vent to, cry with or laugh with. God has now put me in a place where sometimes He is the ONLY person I have to do those things with.

How good is our God for knowing that we can only ever truly be satisfied in Him so He puts us in a situation where all we have is Him. (I pray that this would happen in your life) My prayer for this year is that Jesus would be enough for me. That I would be completely wrapped up and enthralled with Jesus Christ. That the knowledge, a knowledge that comes from personal experience, of His great love for me would radically change my life. I am by no means saying that it is easy or always daisies and rainbows. But there are days where I am able to look and see His immense love for me.

Thank God that He does not always give me what I want. I love that I can be confident in the character of the God I serve. He is a good God, whose ways are above my ways. He is a God who is more concerned about me falling madly in love with Him than He is concerned about me having what I want. Praise the Lord for that!

So last night my new friend Andie and I went to the Night Bazaar. What an adventure we had! WOW! I just had to write about it! There was too much joy and laughter not to share with you all. I hope you enjoy!

We went to the Night Bazaar on a mission to find some very specific things. We had our money and our clues describing where to find the shops. We felt as though we were on the Amazing Race! The first shop we found fairly easily. The clues for that shop were good and detailed. The second shop was a little more challenging, well at least to us. We had to use our smart brains to decipher where exactly the shop was that sold green lasers. We were walking up and down the street, crossing the street trying to find the store that sells green lasers. When finally we decided to ask this vendor who is selling lighters. Surely he will know we think to ourselves. Come to find out THIS is the vendor we were looking for! As we are in the midst of purchasing our items, I look up and see a sign saying, Green Lasers sold here. Um...yeah we walked by this guy probably three times and never once saw the sign or the laser pointers sitting out on his cart. Maybe being on the Amazing Race wouldn't be such a good idea.

As our adventure continues we try to find another vendor. All we have is a business card that has the store number E 57 and 64 on it. So we ask a fellow vendor if she knows where this is. To our dismay she did not. So we trudge on in search for the vendor. We cross a few alleys and look up to see E 43. Aw...now we know how to find it. We look at the ones next to it, E 27. What?! How did that happen? We continue to go up and down alleyways determined to find E 57 and 64. Now we really feel as though we are on the Amazing Race and someone is messing with the numbers. Finally, we found it! Victory! We may not be able to find green lasers but we sure can find E 57 and 64 that sells jewelry!

After our jewelry purchase we continued shopping for other miscellaneous things. Now that we have gotten all the things on our list we can relax a little. No more racing adventures. After a while we decide to have some rotti. A rotti its like a crepe. We got ours cooked with banana inside and sweetened condensed milk poured over it. I, of course also had chocolate sauce on mine. We decided to film this adventure. (Coming Soon) As we are filming and I am talking about how delicious my rotti is a man who was walking along the street pops into our video. Wow! I was a little shocked. I didn't even know him. Instead of coming alongside me, Andie moved the camera so he wouldn’t be in the shot. Good idea but maybe not the most important thing to do in that situation.

This signals us that it is now time to depart the Night Bazaar. Only one problem, we “sort of” know how to get home. After a circle or two and many unfamiliar streets, we finally find a landmark that might be able to get us home. There is nothing like a long adventure of trying to find things and accomplish tasks and then getting lost. (Wow, we really should try out for the Amazing Race) As we are lost we are joking back and forth about where we are going to end up. We were saying cities that are far north and ones that are south. I said, “Watch us end up in Cambodia.” Andie said, “or what if we ended up in Japan!” At this point I lost it. How in the world could we end up in Japan! It’s an island. I was dying of laughter. I could not even speak. All the while she is trying to understand why I am laughing so far and where in the world we actually are!

Finally, we find our way home, later than expected. As we drive into my long driveway we are lost in conversation. We sit outside my house for a while, chit-chatting about life. Suddenly, Andie’s eyes get huge and she starts screaming bloody murder. Since she is looking at me and screaming I think that there is a bug or something on me. I throw everything that is on my lap up in the air and try to get away from this “bug”. In the process of that I am screaming, “get it off me! get it off me!” She is completely speechless with big eyes, still totally freaked out! As soon as she catches her breath she tells me that there is a person outside my window. I turn to see who it is. There stands a half-dressed Thai man. “Oh yeah,” I said, “He is my neighbor, he watches the house to make sure no one shady comes into it.” So I roll down my window, he sees my face and apologizes for bothering us. Oh my, we could not stop laughing about that one. Note to self, Andie is not the person to have around if you are going to get attacked. Good thing I have my pepper spray and have become more aware of my surroundings the past few years.

All to say we had some good laughs tonight! I hope that you enjoyed reading about our adventures. I also hope that you all never get too busy to laugh and have some adventures of your own. They are out there waiting for you! Please feel free to post on here some recent adventures of your own. It would comfort me to know that we are not the only ones who get lost, say silly things and have random strangers frighten us.